What you always wanted to know, or didn't want to know about our family. 

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ANGELO, TERRY'S SON, IS COMING UP JULY 26 THRU AUGUST 23.  IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO SEE  HIM COME ON BY.     LOVE,  CAROL

Are you tired of receiving E-mail with all the same old jokes,Political lies and just totally dumb trash, hatched up by the ditto heads of Rush lumbo or is that Limbaugh.

Well, Vern Webb is changing the world of e-mail. He has come up with a unique way of educating the masses that makes it very interesting and the system is catching on world wide.  He is at least 100 years ahead of the times in his knowledge of the world and will go down in history as one of the greatest thinkers of all time. 

His idea of adding music to e-mail will make buying CDs obsolete and his music is so soothing it will eliminate most of the rage in people. If you are one of the very few that has been able to view his master pieces, you are most fortunate as he is very very particular who he shares them with.     In fact, with no body guards, like President Clinton has,he fears the women will go mad with lust. 

Molly, my lovely granddaughter,  lost two front teeth recently (she'sonly five) and it reminded me of when I was little and had loose teeth. This caused incredible trauma in my life and I've yet not begun to deal with and heal from it.  I'd go to Mom's house and Kenny, Joe, and Mom would ask me if I had a loose tooth.  They would pounce on me, (I'm sure I was hysterical) and hold me down (all three of them...it took all three of them) and kept trying to tie string on my tooth so they could pull it out.  Mind you now, these teeth were 'barely' loose.  They would try with their hands, then they'd tie it to the door knob, and they kept at it until the tooth finally came out, or they tired of my screaming and kicking and let me go--till next time.  I began to try to hide the fact that any teeth were loose, but they'd get me down and check them. When my last tooth got loose, when I was in third of fourth grade, Mother pulled it out with an old dirty pair of pliers.  She stuck the thing all the way in my mouth and kept pulling till it had to come out. I have to say that the only reason it hurt so much for my teeth to come out was the way they'd keep pulling on the poor things for hours at a time. 

I have nightmares today about it.  I think the three of them should have become dentists so they could torture other people.   Today 
this still affects me.  When I have to go to the dentist, they have to gas me and knock me out because I get panic attacks and freak out on 
them.  The last time I had a flashback in the dentist chair about being suffocated by the three of them on top of me while they laughed 
hysterically.  Then I saw this big machine come at me with claws to rip my head off if not my tooth.  I screamed and jumped out of that chair knocking down the dentist and his assistant.  I ran out screaming that they were toturing me.  When I tried to make another appointment, they kept telling me they were totally booked up and couldn't get me in. Even the next year.  So I haven't been able to get my teeth worked on any more and it's all because of Kenny, Joe and Mom. 

I now have to have my wisdom teeth pulled (that's another long story) and I've been thinking about having Ken and Joe come and do it (for free of course). Maybe that would help me get in touch with all this deep seated pain and resentment I carry around in my psychie.  Annie 

Remember when Timbo got his tongue stuck on the freezer here at home.He pulled it loose and came in to Russ and said,Come into the kitchen.I want you to taste the frost on the freezer.So Russ put his tongue on the frost and it froze so solid he could not get loose.He started screaming and crying for help.Paul and I ran in to see what the problem was.Paul poured water on the freezer to unstick Russ's tongue.It did not work.So Paul just yanked his tongue loose.It came off skin and all.Poor Russ was left with a sore bleeding tongue.Remember when Carol was playing in the fire out back in the barrel and her dress caught on fire.She still bares the scar under her arm.By the way that is on the same side where she had to have breast surgery.  Dorothy. 

The year was 1949.WE lived out on the Hawks Prairy Road in Olympia.One saturday we went into town leaving Joe and Billie home alone.Joe was 10.When we arrived at Aunt Bessies apt at the Angeles Hotel,she told her that the Norbergs had called.Joe has Willie's 30-30 rifle out and is shooting at their cow.Well we rushed home.7 miles away.Dad ask Joe,"Did you have my rifle.And were you shooting at the neighbors cow?" Joe asnswered and said.You mean that was a cow? I thought it was a deer." He knew better than that.He just didn't want a spanking. 

Another time while living there.Dad and Mom and Vernon had a drinking party at the house.Joe got into the whiskey and drink enought to make him drunk.He went into the bathroom and climbed across the tub a foot on each side.Bille got mom.When Mom went in,Joe started singing to her."Hey fat lady,I bet you can't do this.She scolded him and put him to bed.When he was not two yet we lived in clayton,Oklahoma.He got up one night and walked into the kitchen,opened the icebox and took out a bottle of Dad's home brew. He drank it all and passed out.Mom got up and found him. 

When we lived out on trosper Road in Olympia us kids slept up in the attic.The stairs were located ouside.I always cleaned our rooms on Saturdays. Joe had gathered a bunch of shingles and big rocks into his and Vernon's room.They wre scattered all over the floor. So I gathered them and piled them in a neat row against the wall so I could mop etc.  Joe came up when I was through and saw what I had done.  He started screaming and crying like I had killed him. He went and told Dad I had messed up his room. So Dad was coming after me with the belt. Billie beat him and told me. So I stepped out onto the porch and waited.When he appeared,I said "If you come up here old man I will push you down the stairs and kill you.You are not whipping me for cleaning.  So he left. 

While in that house either Joe or Ken threw a shoe down through the rafters and we could not see to get it.we did not have a flashlight.  Mom came and lit a match and holding it over the space she dropped the match.Well all the cobwebs caugh fire.  We had no water up stairs so she bent over and urinated in the hole enough to put out the fire then laughed so hard she cried.  Well Rose I wrote it again.  Use what you want. I think I can remember our childhood better than my adult hood. 

Oh yes,One more memory. We were over at MARDON one year. Mom got mad at Marion over something. He walked off and left her. She went over and sat down on a park bench. Marion walked over and joined her. She started again.And each time she finished a sentence he would sing,"DUM-DE=DUM DUM."Dragnet Theme. I cracked up laughed. 

When I was 10,we lived at 925 Giles st in Olympia. Since my eyes were so crossd and I had very poor vision. It was up to Vernon and Billie to watch out for me. They were my eyes. Oneday the west bay drive had just been newly tarred.Billie found a shoestring and stuck tar on it and snuck up on me and stuck it to my heel. Then she screamed,"Snake!"  I said "Where?" Right behind you she said. Well I took off running in a fury of fright. I mean I was Panic struck.I was crying and screaming for help.her and the others were behind me laughting. I ran through the Welch's home out the back door and Mrs Welch caught me, I collapsed in her arms.  I was wet with sweat my heart beating fast and hard and I kinda fainted. She got the story from Billie. And then scolded them all for what they had done to me. She shamed Billie. She trust you for everything. You are her eyes. How could you do this. But Billie was only seven. Soon after that her and I climbed onto the roof of our house to play.  We used a big plank to walk up there on. Then she said, 'When mama finds out that you are on the roof you will be in trouble.  She jumped down and called for Mom.  As I ran for the board to climb down on. Billie pulled it away. I landed on my face, Broke my nose and sprung my wrist.  Mom gave me an asprin and had Vernon take me to the movie.  I cried all the while. He was so mad at 
me. Well that is life.DIDI 
 

Well let me see when Vernon was 11 he and his friend put me into a bucket and lowered me down into an old abandened well to see if there was water in it.  He got yelled at by mom. When he was 10 we lived near the Canadian river in Oklahoma. and he loved to fish. He loved to read the lil abner comics.So he started acting like mammy Yokum.When she would prick herself with a pin and turn around three times falling to the floor in a trance in order to foretell events.So he would do this every time  he and mom strung a line across the river with  a  lot of hooks on it to catch more fish.He said that he had to do this in order to see if any fish were on the line.If he saw no fish then he did not need to go down to the river to check the line.He was almost always right. Dad got mad and made him stop acting crazy.He told mom that was witchcraft. 

Another time at the same place, uncle Walter, Moms brother, gave us his white horse.Vernon named him Silver. He pretended he was the Lone Ranger. He loved that horse. But then he caught lice from the horse and didn't like it any more. Vernon was my big brother.my wonderful brother. my protecter and friend.  More than once he saved me from being bit by a rattler. My sight was so bad.I could not see the snakes because they were the color of the ground. But thank God Vernon hardly ever left me alone. He and Billie were were my eyes. A child could not have asked for a better brother than what he was. At 14 he had to quit school and go to work in the saw mill to help Dad make a living.at 16  he became the family driver and had to drive us back to Oklahoma and back. To Calif and back. For two or three years.  He had to become a man to soon in life. No time to be a little boy. He was abused by dad. 

When he was only 11 he gave his little heart to Jesus and was filled with the Holy Ghost.God called him to be a preacher. His ministery was with us children. All the neighbor children gave their hearts to Jesus and me too. He always took us into the bedroom at night to sing and pray. But Dad was very mean. He was a Christian but did not want us to sing or pray. So every night he would threaten to kill Vernon. Well one night he came in and jerked vernon up by one arm and beat him with his big steel belt buckle. Over and over he struck him very hard.I tried to get between but was knocked out of the way.  Mom tried to stop him.she too was knocked out of the way.Vernon was screaming daddy don't kill me.please don't kill me.  I promise I will never pray again.I will not go to church.  I will not talk about God if you just let me live.Then the little guy passed out.  Dad threw him on the floor.  Mom started trying to revive him I told Dad I was going  to  get the  lawman.  He left Vernon to come after me begging me not to tell.  I called him a mean old bastard and told him I hated him and hoped he would die.We never went to church again.  I went a couple of time out here.  But did not give my heart to Jesus til I was 19.  Vernon went when he was in the service but not anymore.  Dorothy 

I remember the time that Carol and I were walking home from Billies house, when down the street (residential), here came this car, swerving back and forth, at a speed of about 75 mph. We stood and watched, and as the car got closer we noticed that the car looked familiar to us, and as it squealed around the corner on 2 wheels we saw that it was Ralph. Now this was the first time we had ever saw him drive, and even though because of our age, (teenagers) we thought that this erratic kind of driving was cool, we wanted to see him get in trouble. So we ran home and called Billie on the phone and informed her. Boy was she mad, she took those keys away from him. To this very day she wont let him drive.  And to think, It's all our fault. Rose 
 

NEWS FLASH!  Woodpile child discovered!  Joe always told us there was a  *(*.).*.*{*}*  in the woodpile.  Well, what we didn't know was that he knew that  because it was his *(*.).*.*{*}* in the woodpile.  National locaters contacted him  recently inquiring about his activities 30 years ago.  We don't know if the mother was looking for him to try to resume the relationship or for back child support or if the child was looking for its father.  Way to go Joe.

The message you are reading is from the best damn gateway ( The king of all  computers ) computer in the world, because it is owned and operated by the  computer whiz, Robert V. Webb.  I have my computer trained to do what IT  wants to do when it wants to do it. I believe in total freedom for my  computer. It will sometimes turn its self on. It will stop working if it  gets upset about something but that is O K with me.  It tells me how to  spell words and really tries to work with me, as long as I don't do  something to upset it. It is a true friend.   Vern
 

Well, it looks like the comp wars have begun. Vernon thinks his is best but I've heard thru the 
grapevine that Joe's computer will wipe circles around Vernon's. 

But who really has the best one

Ken is in danger of inprisonment.  He is running an illegal still oiut of  his home.  The still has resulted in the alcoholism of his wife and son.  His wife can't even sleep without a shot of "his good stuff".  Little Kenny's friends like to hang around his refrigerator lately.  I wonder why!

HOW CAN YOU TELL FOR SURE IF A PERSON IS REALLY A HILL BILLY?
CHECK THE BOTTON OF THEIR FEET. IF THEIR FEET ARE HARD AND ROUGH AND
REAL DIRTY,THEN THEY ARE A REAL HILL BILLY.WE DO NOT LIKE TO WEAR SHOES.  CAROL IS A HICK. SHE IS ALWAYS BAREFOOT. I AM ALWAYS BAREFOOT. WE ONLY WEAR SHOES WHEN WE GO TO TOWN OR VISITING.OR TO CHURCH.

YEARS AGO A MAN KNOCKED ON MY DOOR. WHEN I ANSWERED THE DOOR HE SAW MY FEET. HE BLEW HIS STACK. HE SAID IT WAS A DISGRACE FOR A WOMAN TO BE BAREFOOT.  HE WANTED TO BEAT MY HUSBAND UP.  I HAD TO DO SOME TALL TALKIN FAST.   SLUG BUG

The WTO in Seattle reminded me of the time Mom and I went to Fort Lewis Wash in 1952.I was married to a Canadian Soldier.  We went to see him off.  He had to leave the next day for Korea.  This was Joyce's Dad.  The American soldiers  started a riot with the Canadians.  right near the cookhouse where my husband was a cook.  We were on the inside. A young soldier ran in and told us to get out fast, and to turn to the right outside the door. But my husband took us left, and we were in between the Americans and Canadians. They were throwing bottles and rocks and fist fighting. I yelled at them. Boys, if you hit me you will be hitting an american girl I told the Americans.  And I told the Canadians I was married to one of their men. So they all yelled, "Stop fighting till these ladies get to safety." One last bottle was thrown and as it broke a piece of glass hit mom in the head. The MP'S came and threw tear gas into the crowd so our eyes started stinging. both armies sent people to help us.  "Do not rub your eyes.  Cover your face with a scarf. It was scary but exciting. Mom and I could sure get into a lot of trouble.  My husband decided to go home with us.  He had to sneak off base.  We hitched a ride. But when we got into town and got out of the car to walk home.  The M.P's were waiting and took my husband to jail.  I had to go to the jail to get my wallet as Clay had it on him.  I yelled at the young MP. "You little punk! I should slap you down. The police chief was cracking up at me. He thought I was funny. I only weighed 90 lbs. and 5 ft tall.  He said, "You sure are a brave little thing!"      By Slug Bug.

Carol, no real name please.  My friends read this site. So you girls behave yourself or I will tell awful things about you. Carol, I know you don't want me to tell the story about you and the rabbit hole.

WHEN I WAS ABOUT TEN,  DOROTHY'S HUSBAND WAS SENT OVERSEAS. DOROTHY WAS REAL UPSET.   WE HAD THREE BIG BEDROOMS UPSTAIRS AND ONE REAL SMALL ONE. 

ANYWAY DOROTHY WENT UPSTAIRS INTO THIS SMALL ROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR.  I TRIED TO GET IN BUT COULDN'T.   I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE WAS DOING, SO I  WENT OUT ON  THE ROOF OVER TO THE WINDOW AND  LOOKED IN. 

SHE WAS DOWN ON HER KNEES.  I  OPENED THE WINDOW SO I COULD HEAR.  SHE WAS IN THERE PRAYING AND SHE WAS PRAYING SO HARD SHE DIDN'T EVEN HEAR ME OPEN THE WINDOW.   I STARTED LAUGHING AND  SHE JUMPED UP AND GAVE ME THE WORST CUSSING I HAVE EVER HAD, EVEN TO THIS DAY.  (SHE CALLED ME AN SOB, TOO.)  AFTER I HAD GONE,  SHE GOT BACK ON HER KNEES AND  KEPT UP HER PRAYING.   TOJO

Well, I don't know about that story about Rose and Carol, but I do remember hearing about the time Rose woke up in the middle of the night to find Clay in bed with her.  They say that Clay sleep-walks and it was an accident.  Well, I guess if someone can sleepwalk and kill their in-laws and get off with it,  then why not get in bed with your sister-in-law and claim the same defense.  How 'bout that Clay?

Did you hear about the time Clay was out of work and Carol got so mad at him that she ran off with the new milkman?  Anyway they went to a motel over at ocean shores. Carol was so happy to be getting revenge on Clay.  She could not wait to crawl into bed with this guy.  But he told her
he was too tired to make out after all the driving. She snuggled up to him and had a good nights sleep. When she woke up the next morning and reached for her man,she got a real good look at him. she said, "you sure look a lot like my sister Rosemary."

He answered her and said,  "I was Rosemary!  I had a sex change.  Surprize Carol.

Message from Carol and Rose. To all who have issues with or have rejected Carol or Rose,  whether in the past or at present,  Up Yours.

Have you heard???  Annie came home to find Tim in the kitchen shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist toward the electric kettle.  Intending to jolt him away from the dealy current, she whacked him with a piece of wood she found by the back door.  The deadly connection was broken.....but so was Tim's arm...in two places.  So energized and excited was she about being a hero that she was somewhat stunned to see an puzzled, almost angry look on Tim's face as he stormed out of the kitchen.  Then she learned that until that moment, he had been happily listening to his walkman radio.

NEWS FLASH? Nathan and Rose Henry involved with accused kidnapper.  An annoymous tip from someone who know states that the FBI, police, and private  investigators have been in contact with them in regards to missing child and kidnapper, and are trying to confiscate their financial records.  Sources didn't say if they are suspected of being involved in the kidnapping scheme, are looking for payoffs, or why they are so intent on investigating the Henry's.  Other family members have been interrogated as well.

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I just remembered that there is another in our family who had a name change, actually two others.  Cynthia used to be Carolyn and Larry used to be Harry. 
 
 

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Have you heard the latest....Since everyone is changing their names, now Joe is not to be called Joe anymore, but Herb or Herbie. 
 
 

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DiDi is getting impatient.  Word is out that she has proposed to Carol's pastor, Steve, (a married 46 year old), Old pastor Stott, (87+) who also got chewed out for going to Canada to find a wife when she was right here, and then Pastor Gregert (95?).   Well, Ed says he wishes Gregert would marry her because then Gregert would get what was coming to him.  (Does she have a fetish with pastors? or what?) 
 
 

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Does anyone know what this is all about.  I heard something about DiDi doing to Ed what Carol did to him.  I wonder what that could be? 
 
 

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I heard Kathy is coming for a visit, but don't you expect a visit from her.  She has to spend all her time with her dad and step-mother.  annonymous 
 
 

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THE REASON I CHANGED MY NICKNAME TO DIDI.IS BECAUSE OF BILLIE AND MOM.MY NICKNAME WAS"DOT"BACK YEARS AGO.MOM AND BILLIE WOULD WRITE NASTY RHYMES ABOUT MY NAME.LIKE-"DOT.DOT.STUCK HER HEAD IN THE COFFEE POT. OR "DOT. DOT. HER NOSE IS FULL OF SNOT. ECT.AND IT GOT WORSE. I do not like to be called "DOROTHY" because people call me"DORTH.  OR DORFEE. DIDI IS JUST DEE REPEATED TWO TIMES. DEE IS TAKEN FROM MY NAME-DOROTHY (D) EVELYN (E) ETELAMAKI(E).So I AM AUNT DEE OR DIDI.  ANITA CALLS HERSELF AUNT DEE. So I am Aunt DEE But REALLY DIDI. DO YOU GET IT? IDID. BACKWARDS. I DID!  CALLED ROSCO. BECAUSE HE  ROS CO BAD.(WAS SO BAD)SILLY JOKE. DIDI 
 
 

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SO I HEARD ON THE GRAPEVINE THAT CAROL TOO , 
HAS GONE GOO GOO. 
SHE IS GOING FROM CAROL TO TORIE. 
WHATEVER IS SHE DOING THAT FORIE? 
MAYBE SHE IS AFTER MR ED. 
We had better keep an eye open for this one. 
This May Be The Hotest scoop yet. 
SOMETHING IS COOKING.I CAN SMELL IT.  I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED. DIDI
 
 

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By the way, Carol told me that she wishes that she could change her name to Victoria, and be called Torie for short.  I sent Russ an email in response to his poem to me that, a Rose called by any other name is still a Rose, so it wouldn't do me any good to change mine. 
 
 

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to the tune of Rudolf the RedNose Reindeer 

Now there's Joseph and Annie, and Rosco and DiDi 
Bubba and Russell and James and Lee 
But do you recall the one who started it all 
Remember Melissa  Haynes 
Had a very pretty name 
But she didn't like it 
Wanted to make a change 
So she became Elizabeth 
Giving some of us a start 
It seems that some don't know yet 
A  name change doesn't change your heart 

Now she looks from heaven's shore 
Wonderin' what's the fuss 
Cause she knows that whatever we're called 
We are all still 'us' 
So Joseph and annie and Didi 
Bubba, Russell, James and Lee 
No matter what we call you 
You are you and I am me.
 
 

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I placed my dentures on my coffee table last night and when Russ and Kathy's little boy came over this morning he saw them there and said, "Here's your teeth.Right there are those little suckers. That is the early morning news for 4-10-99 Your Reporter DIDI. 

Hey Rose, Remember the time when you were very little Marion took you kids and Mom and Paul (I would not go) to Neah Bay to go fishing.  Sometime later He had to bring Mom to shore for personal reasons.She climbed out of the boat and started to run but her pants fell down. You guys have it on home movies.We should show it sometime.  Reporter DIDI. 
 
 

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Has anyone heard about Carol's visit with Ken and Sue recently? Well she accompanied Ken and Sue to a get together with some of their friends. While they were all sitting around chatting and enjoying each others company, trying to be on their best behavior, you know minding their manners and all, Sue decides to break wind. Of course Sue and Carol both break out in heavy laughter. Ken is sitting there trying to ignore their girlish behavior, when all of a sudden Carol's teeth went flying out of her mouth and landed in Ken's lap.  Still trying to maintain his composure,  he looks up and says, "You almost bit my weenie off."  Needless to say, the whole place was laughing at this point. 
 
 

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Ken is going to change his name to BIG MOE. 
 
 

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Mark Etelamaki will be moving back to D.C. in Aug this year.He will be back here sometime in July.As soon as they get him a replacement.Crystal will be staying with Mark.Nancy and the other three kids will be with her Mom on June 10th.I think that we should try to have a family reunion for him when he gets here. Afterall he is an important figurehead in this family.Even if he did pee on Carol when he was small.I will try to keep him from doing it again. Your news  Reporter.DIDI 
 

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I just saw a note signed your unknown brother 
Is it Joe, or Ken or is it another 
I went to Dorothy's but it said DiDi and Aunt Dee 
And now you say Marion is going by Lee 
Timbo is Joe, Russ is Paul 
I just can't keep up with them all 
Joyce is now annie 
But really it's Joanne 
Tell me, tell me 
What's going on if you can 
The latest I've heard is that Nathan is James 
But with all this commotion, all these new names 
It's boggled my memory banks 
Caused me despair 
I don't know who I am now 
Could I be "Clair".